A look Back...

We are wrapping up the 2014-2015 school year.

This time of year drives me crazy! My kids are ready for summer but I'm stuck wrapping up the school and looking towards planning the coming school year.

So I decided to take a few minutes and really honor the school year we completed.

The one lesson that really stuck with me this year (even though I knew it!) children move at their own pace. Just because text book, program, and even a child expert says your child "should be" doing something by a certain age, doesn't mean every child is READY to be doing that particular thing.

This clearly came worth with my very stubborn 3rd child. She is kindergarten and so naturally she should be reading. Actually, because we homeschool, common school of thought is she should have been reading a year ago. So we dove into the program I spent hours researching and knew it was the "best" fit for her. However, after two months of butting heads - I had to admit she wasn't ready. So I put the books aside and just enjoyed her! Enjoyed her creativity, her spunk, and her just being 5! Shortly after Christmas, she initiated the want to read and we picked the program back up. The pieces are falling more easily in place.

The same came through with my oldest son with Algebra 1. While he can do the work, he is requiring a lot of coaching. It is very clear, the concepts aren't cementing and we need to spend another year on the material. So we (yes, him, his father, and myself) made the decision to spend another year with Algebra 1.

My second lesson I learned this year - was don't be afraid to change it up! One of the motto's I keep hearing within the homeschooling circles is "Keep it Simple!" I realized, we need to make it more simple for our family. I had a real conversation with our kids about what they liked and what they didn't like. My oldest shared he didn't care for Scholastic News and wanted to switch to a Math or Science magazine. My oldest daughter told me weekly Scholastic News overwhelmed her, while she enjoyed the reading would rather switch to a monthly or quarterly magazine. So I'm changing it up - I've also decided that have 3 kids doing 3 different levels of Social Studies and Art isn't going to work for our household. We are making it simple with one program and then activity work will be grade/age appropriate.

My third lesson this year that I truly learned was not all learning takes place in a classroom, from a textbook, or perfectly designed study. I've been amazed at what my children have learned from just being let loose in the library! Just being allowed to pursue their own interests or follow up on interesting facts they have come across. Due to this (and a talk I heard at our home school conference), we are completely changing up Social Studies and Literature studies  for my oldest two children.

I know I'm suppose to be teaching my children, but truly I think they are schooling me in a lesson or two!

The Gift of a Meal

Having 4 babies, I've been given quite the variety of gifts after a baby has been born.

Wanna know my favorite? The ones I remember and still to this day wanna give that person a hug for?

A meal.

Yes, a simple meal have been the most appreciated gift. Having a friend arrive at my door with a pan of food that I didn't have to plan, shop for, and prepare; is a blessing beyond measure! Especially when you are recovering from child birth, running on no sleep, figuring out this whole breast feeding thing, and finding the new "balance" in your household.

However, I'm often surprised how many of my friends have shared they decline to bring meals because often their family eats frozen pizza while another family eats like a king! Bring a family a meal doesn't have to a production and for me it no more than doubling what I'm already making that night.

So how does one make a great meal for two households?

First, have a couple of go to recipes that are quick, simple, and double easily. This runs seasonally
(fall and winter tend to be soups, while spring and summer casseroles or noodle dishes). These are my go to, I've perfected them and don't have to think twice about them.

I usually contact the person a week to week half before bring the meal so I can plan my shopping and look at my calendar. I try to find a day where my day isn't crazy busy so I know I will have the time to cook a meal and have time for the extras (side dishes, bread, and dessert)

However, some weeks just get away from me! Kids get sick, events come up that I didn't plan on, or we are in a busy season and I still have a family waiting for a meal! I've also got a back up plan for that as well!!

Swing by Costco for a Rotisserie Chicken, make up a quick side dish of green bean casserole, salad and bread. If your *really* are tight for time Costco pizza and salad can be dropped off as well! It is not fancy but it will feed everyone and will be one less meal for that new mama to worry about!

I've come to the conclusion dessert is not required but it a nice "extra". I have a go to No Bake Peanut Butter Bar (http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2012/03/easy-no-bake-peanut-butter-bars.html). I usually have the ingredients needed on hand, I can whip this up ahead of time (like the weekend), and it stays nicely in the freezer! However, if for some reason that doesn't happen, I've been know to show up with a bucket of ice cream or fun ice cream bars you wouldn't normally buy!

Two of my friends were in very busy seasons of their lives when my babies came along but still wanted to do something productive as a baby gift. One dropped off paper plates, silverware, and cups for our family to use during "survival mode" and another simply dropped off a gift card to a local grocery store, where I was able to pick up some prepared hot food for a meal. Both were a simply but a practical blessing!

I think the key for this to be success is to keep things simple! Most likely this family is in survival mode, simply having a meal given is a amazing blessing! 

I said "No" (and stuck to my guns!!!)

Since starting homeschooling, I've come to realize my time is valuable but also limited.

I recieved a phone call our parish shortly after Christmas (like when we were on break and spending our days sleeping and playing!) asking if I would be able to bake for a upcoming event.

"Of course, I could!" I replied happily and basked in the warm fuzzes you get when you volunteer. Then I went back to playing and having all kinds of Christmas fun!

Fast forward three weeks, I'm going over what needs to happen today and Princess pops up and says, "Tonight is that parish events, aren't you suppose to bring 3 dozen cookies?"

Ummmmm......yes....

Now to find the 2 hours it will take to make cookies (I get, I could have stopped by the store but the request was for homemade cookies).

And then the clean up for these 3 dozens cookies (actually 4 dozens because there would be a small uprising if I didn't leave some for the peanut gallery).

So when did I end up doing the cookies, during the baby's two hour nap. The only two hour nap she had decided to take all week. Everything else that needed to get done (laundry, cleaning, going through the mail, and crossing some items off my to do list) sat on the side lines.

I get it, I did a good thing for my parish but it really stressed me out and made me feel a little further behind than I wanted to.

We were at the girls American Heritage Girl meeting and they had a sign up for a upcoming event. We are unable to attend event since we will be out of town (I thought case closed) but then the leader announced if you are unable to attend you can bring 3 dozen baked goods. Which Princess was more than happy to volunteer for (which translates into afternoon of ME baking with the 10 year old)!

I looked at the calendar, we were leaving that Friday evening out of town. The night before the Boy, has a out of town basketball game and the week is pretty full (not to mention I need to get 6 people ready to get out of town!) 

I told her, "No" -

She begged and pleaded and stated she could use the service hours.

Then I explained to Princess we simply do not have the time needed to commit to this project. There will be other service opportunities and we will act on those when it fits better in our schedule.

And then we walked away and it was such a relief! 
I need to use the word, "no" more often!

Why I'm Against Anti-Bullying Curriculum

So passing through life when the odd comment was made to me about how homeschooling was great, but they do lose things like anti-bullying curriculum. 

Wait...WHAT???

I really shook my head at that one because really, if my children enter into the adult work force and a co-worker pushes them to the ground, well they can have that co-worker arrested. If a co-worker is verbally abusive and knocks their lunch tray out of their hands, there are HR policies that will back them. Not to mention, I don't know many people going around complaining of co-workers acting in this matter. My children will have far greater legal recourse and HR policies in their favor dealing with a bully as a adult, then ever as a child at school.

But that isn't the soap box I wanted to get on.....

The soap box I want to get on is why I don't think Anti-Bullying programs work!

 My children were in the overpriced Catholic school that went full force with Anti-Bullying curriculum. As a parent this is how the program was presented to me as a parent:

Generous donor has made it possible for us to enrich our anti-bullying program. We are sending home t-shirts to all students, please have them wear on give day.

The note went on to say the other parts of the program where posters being displayed, lots of talking about including and being a bucket filler, and several speakers coming into the classroom.

Here is the deal - I'm a parent but I'm also a educator so I've spent A LOT of time with children both inside and outside the classroom. I will tell you, my kids who were bullies all had the same things in common.

1. They came from unstable homes
2. Their parents were uninterested or spent very little time with them
3. They were exposed to media material that was far beyond their age or reason

The kids who were victims where always the same kids:

1. Came from stable homes
2. Had involved parents
3. Child had a strong sense of justice, right, and wrong.

No amount of work coming from the classroom was going to change a child acting out to seek attention and fulfillment. A child need for love and safety has to come from the home. A child's need for attention and confidence has to come from loving parents who see their children as priority!

While there has always been bullies, they seem to be coming out in a great numbers now. Why? Simply put our families are in complete turmoil! Many put material items above their children, so you see both parents working outside the home. You see divorced or single parents, who can't or chose not invest in their children. Its our children paying the price and its this brokenness that they will carry with them into adulthood.

What we need is not anti-bullying programs but pro-family programs. We need parents to understand that every minute invested in their child in not lost! That i-phones will be a passing fad but you only have one chance to mold this child. Rising a child in a two parent marriage will offer more benefit than anyone is willing to admit right now. As a society admit what we already know, children need their parents because the lack of parents, leaves them lost. Leaves a child bitter and mean. Leaves a child looking for empowerment and attention in all the wrong places.

Do You Want Fries With That??

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Yes, yes I would! And a large box of chocolate, please!!!"

Ok - today was one of those "rough" homeschooling days. The ones we don't really talk about. The ones that if we actually talked about, our family and friends (who aren't convinced  homeschooling is the best option) will point to why I should put my children into "normal" school.

We did Iowa Testing for the week before Christmas and once we were done I promptly declared, "We were done for Christmas BREAK!!". When we were suppose to start back up, we ended up traveling for a funeral so that shot last week. Now its Monday, the second week and January and we HAVE TO JUMP BACK INTO SCHOOL!!

5:30 am - a cold toddler climbs into my bed and kicks me in the face

7:00 am - my alarm goes off I hit the off button

8:00 am -  Tinkerbell comes into my room asking if she has Good Shepard today. I'm reminded that:
1. We missed daily mass
2. It is truly Monday and I shouldn't have ignored my alarm

8:15 am - come downstairs to realize my big kids are up, chores aren't done, and they are looking for the remote.

8:16 - 9:15 am - follow children around reminding them what their chores are, that they are fully capable of doing assigned chores.

9:15 - 9:45 am - Take Tinkerbell to Good Shepard and drive home.

10:00 am - Start school

10:00 - 11:25 - Sit with two older children. Remind them we really do school, at home, and that work is required of them. Also try to figure out where we left off from break and refresh where needed.

11:26-12 - Leave and pick up Tinkerbell and come home.

12:05-12:30 - LUNCH

12:31 to 4:00 - Continue to sit with children. Reminding them we really do school....at home...and work is required of them. Its painful......

I make them read assigned pages out loud because I *know* they wouldn't read it otherwise (it would be lets sit here, turn pages, day dream, and write things in the blanks that make NO SENSE! Mom won't find out until she grades and which point they will ACTUALLY have to read it) I was saving us all the headache - promise!

I. GOT. NOTHING. ELSE. DONE!

No laundry -
No cleaning  -
No putting the Christmas boxes away -

Nothing but sitting on children to make sure work ACTUALLY got done.

4:35 pm - Text from husband, "Done with work pick me up anytime".

4:45 pm - Get into the car and go pick up husband.

When we pulled into the driveway my husband asks what is for supper (totally normal question). However, he is meet with a blank stare. The voice inside my head is screaming, "WHAT!!!! YOU EXPECT TO KEEP 4 KIDS ALIVE, EDUCATED, NOT BURN THE HOUSE DOWN, AND FEED YOU?!?!?"
But I don't say anything, instead I sit there looking at the birds flying over our house.
I tell my husband I'm stressed paralyzed (yes its a thing - watch "Mom's Night Out!")

So my loving husband does what any sane man would do, "Do you want burgers or subs for supper?"

The peanut gallery (e.i the kids) vote for subs.

We ended up with burgers.

It was just one of those days - so yes, I will take fries and a big box of chocolate with that burger!

New Year's Resolutions off to a Rough Start....

So one of my New Year's Resolutions was to do the 52 weeks to an organized homeschool.

The first week was daily devotions and I thought easy enough, get everyone to daily mass. Its a nice start to our day, makes sure everyone is up, dressed, and ready for the day.

And then life hit.......

My husband's grandmother passed away so what was suppose to be our first day back from Christmas break, we sat in a Lutheran Church at a funeral. Then drove 6 hours home so Tuesday we were physically and emotionally drained (which means no school happened). The weekend I was going to spend prepping for the upcoming semester was lost in preparing to attend the funeral and traveling.

I did have the pie in the sky dream we would be able to take school work with us and would be able to attend mass. However, the small town my husband's grandmother lived in did not have daily mass. The math I brought went untouched ( I know you are you as surprised as I am - inserting  sarcasm) and the -45 wind chills made playing outside (burning off all that energy!) not possible. It was a difficult couple of days to say the least.

 However we did listen to two audio books and my kids did a lot of reading during the down time (I've got a take a win where I can get it!).

Then Wednesday and Thursday came with continued unsafe windchills which I wasn't going to take the kids out in. So I came to the realization while I love the idea of taking the kids to daily mass for a daily devotion it isn't going to happen as planned.

 

So instead I order Saints for Young Readers Vol. 1

The new goal is to ead out of that every morning. If we can safely make it to mass, GREAT but if not we will have some devotion ready for the start of our day. At least its a plan in place!




Amazon Link to the book -
(http://www.amazon.com/Saints-Young-Readers-Every-Vol/dp/0819870811) 

Open Letter Addressing to The Lady Sitting Behind Me at Mass

Dear Women Sitting Behind Us At Mass, 

It was so good to see you at mass. Father gave a good homily and the readings were touching as well. However, the comment you made (quite loudly) when my husband removed our two year old, "You should have removed that child an hour ago!"

Makes me believe you were focused on something else - my 2 year old. 

Here the problem with your opinion - if I removed my daughter an hour ago she wouldn't have attended mass. Frankly, shame on you for thinking the littlest of God's flock doesn't deserve to be in his presence.  

We could hang out in the cry room but that is just encouraging poor behavior. Have you been in there lately? Many parents go in there and just check out.  My experience has been kids running everywhere and no one is really engaged. However, if it’s good enough for my family, you are certainly welcome to enjoy mass from that location in the church. 

I'm trying really hard to raise good Catholic kids. I want my children to understand their faith, be active in it and be engaged. I can't wait to start this process when they are 10; it starts now. Would it be fair to her older siblings if we took your advice (she is the youngest of 4, mind you) and removed all of them from mass? Should all my children simply not attend mass until they are 18 and can behave adult like?

But wait, if I do that, I've lost all those impressionable years and then you won't see them in the pews.  

Since you’re sitting in the pew, I'm going to assume you understand that children are the fruit of marriage. They are a blessing from God and should be celebrated! What you may not realize is children come in raw form, so give us a little more time to keep molding her (patients is a virtual you know!).

Who knows, you may be looking at a future Saint!

Sincerely,

The Catholic Mom in the Trenches Sitting in Front of You